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ApologetiX in MS, NY, PA, Sale Ends 3/31
Wed., Mar. 24. 2004 1:34pm EST
1. This Saturday & Sunday: Two in Gulfport MS
2. Next Weekend: Johnson City NY & State College PA
3. Listen to the Rick & Bubba Interview on MP3
4. Upcoming Concerts (Including New Ones in CA, TN, WI & IL)
5. Update on Deb Messner's Grandmother
6. All 10 ApologetiX CDs and What They Spoof
7. Our Best CD Sale Ever (All Titles $7 Through 3/31)
J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band) here.
Well, as often happens when we play a new state, no sooner did we play our first concert ever in Mississippi a month ago, then we're back again already. This time we're headlining at two days' worth of concerts at a Christian music festival near the beach in Gulfport MS. This is the fourth year for the festival (Spirit Fest), and we hear they had 7,000 people there last year. Steve from Burlap to Cashmere is opening for us on both days.
Also, there's only one week left on our special two-week sale (the greatest deal we have ever offered on CDs) -- all 10 of our CDs (the eight you can get in stores and the two you can only get through us) -- for $7 each. Many of you have already responded, but we know lots of people like to wait till the last minute -- that would be now. Don't miss out!
These are not cracked CDs. They are perfect condition, still in the shrink wrap. Why are we doing this? Well, we'd like to wrap all of these sales we've been offering with one final big blowout. We have some expenses to take care of, and this is how we've decided to do it.
After this sale is over on March 31, we'll be no longer be offering "Isn't Wasn't Ain't" or "Have Yourself a Parody Christmas" -- at least not for a long time. These are limited edition CDs, and it's time to give them a long rest. Also, the cracked CD sales are over. We're as tired as you are with seeing them at the end of every email for the past couple months. So this is it. Two weeks of $7 non-cracked CDs -- all 10 titles. Stock up while you can.
Just click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser: http://www.apologetix.com/surprize
Now, some of you have never been sure what CDs you wanted to buy, because you never had a complete list of all of the songs we spoofed on our CDs. In case you missed the list in last week's email, we're including it again in this week's email. See Item #5.
1. SATURDAY & SUNDAY: TWO IN GULFPORT MS
Saturday, March 27, 2004 8:30 PM $3 at the gate $5 max per family!! 14 and younger free!! Sponsored by CROSS 2 SUCCESS MINISTRIES 4TH ANNUAL SPIRIT FEST 2004 (8,000 people last year) APOLOGETIX IS THE HEADLINER at the end of the night! Carnival rides, thousands of people Steve from BURLAP TO CASHMERE is opening for us both days RICE PAVILION Highway 90 & Highway 49 Intersection Gulfport, Mississippi 30501 CONTACT: Ron Meyers/GM WAOY 228-896-9336 EMAIL: Ron@WAOY.com OR cross2success@aol.com
Sunday, March 28, 2004 3pm $3 at the gate $5 max per family!! 14 and younger free!! Sponsored by CROSS 2 SUCCESS MINISTRIES 4TH ANNUAL SPIRIT FEST 2004 RICE PAVILLION Highway 90 & Highway 49 Intersection Gulfport, Mississippi 30501 CONTACT: Ron Meyers/GM WAOY 228-896-9336 EMAIL: Ron@WAOY.com OR cross2success@aol.com
2. NEXT WEEKEND: JOHNSON CITY NY & STATE COLLEGE PA
Friday, April 2, 2004 (time to be announced) Ticketed Event PRACTICAL BIBLE COLLEGE 400 Riverside Drive Johnson City, NY 13790 CONTACT: Cheryl Cetton 607-729-1581 ext. 315 WEB SITE: www.practical.edu
Saturday, April 3rd Doors open at 7:00 pm Free Concert (donations accepted) Sponsored by The Rock Invasion 2004 Abba Java Coffeehouse E. College Ave. & Locust Lane State College, Pennsylvania, 16801 Phone: 814-238-3028 Email: concertteam@therockinvasion.com Website: www.therockinvasion.com
3. LISTEN TO THE RICK & BUBBA INTERVIEW ON MP3
About a month ago, we were the featured guests on Rick & Bubba's morning show, which is syndicated throughout the Southeast. In case you missed it, here's a link to MP3's of that show, provided by our friend Paul G., who runs his own ApologetiX fan site:
listen now
4. UPCOMING CONCERTS (INCLUDING NEW ONES IN CA, TN, WI & IL)
This list adds concerts frequently, so stay tuned for more info. For the full details on all of the concerts below, please go to http://www.apologetix.com/tour.html and scroll to the bottom.
To inquire about booking a concert, please contact Kathleen Burke at booking@apologetix.com or Burke Communications at 949-770-3001 (9 a.m. to 5 p.m. PST).
Mar 27 - Gulfport MS Mar 28 - Gulfport MS Apr 02 - Johnson City NY Apr 03 - State College, PA Apr 16 - Palmdale CA Apr 17 - El Cajon CA Apr 18 - Riverside CA Apr 24 - Footville WI Apr 30 - Angola IN May 01 - Pensacola FL May 14 - Mesa, AZ (Private concert for their Youth group) May 15 - Mesa, AZ Jun 4 - Chattanooga, TN Jun 12 - Milwaukee WI Jun 27 - Springfield IL
5. UPDATE ON DEB MESSNER'S GRANDMOTHER
Here's an update on the grandmother of Deb Messner, wife of ApologetiX lead guitarist/producer Karl Messner. Debbie writes:
Miraculously, Gran was released from the hospital on Friday 03-19-04, just three weeks after being placed on a ventilator and nearly losing her life in the Emergency Room. She is home right now, and preparing to undergo more chemotherapy and radiation in the coming weeks. We are all incredibly amazed that she is doing so well, and are very, very thankful for your prayers! Please continue to pray for grandma (her name is Pauline) as she undergoes her upcoming treatments. She is a very tough lady, and a great inspiration to all of us! Thanks again! ~ Deb Messner & Family
6. ALL 10 APOLOGETIX CDS AND WHAT SONGS THEY SPOOF
Some of you have never been sure what CDs you wanted to buy (Don't miss the sale in item #6), because you never had a complete list of all of the songs we spoofed on our CDs. At long last, here it is -- our complete discography:
ADAM UP December 2003
1. We're in a Parody Band ('We're an American Band" by Grand Funk Railroad)
2. Lifestyles of the Rich & Nameless ('Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous by Good Charlotte)
3. Boy Tell the World ('Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night)
4. Choose Your Daddy ('Who's Your Daddy?" by Toby Keith)
5. Meshach ('Love Shack" by the B-52's)
6. I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths) ('I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the Proclaimers)
7. Get Found Tonight ('Get Down Tonight" by K.C. & the Sunshine Band)
8. Look Yourself ('Lose Yourself" by Eminem)
9. Should I Pray or Should I Go ('Should I Stay or Should I Go" by the Clash)
10. The Spittle ('The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World)
11. Sweet Oholibamah ('Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
12. It's Not Eden ('Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five For Fighting)
13. Listening After Midnight ('Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest)
14. Psum 14 ('Fat Lip" by Sum 41)
15. The Word ('Grease" by Frankie Valli)
16. Wherever You Will Sow ('Wherever You Will Go" by the Calling)
17. Wake Up Talitha Cumi ('Wake Up Little Susie" by the Everly Brothers)
18. Guide the Way ('By the Way" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
19. Little-Read Bible Book ('Li'l Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs)
20. Downer of a Sister ('Chop Suey" by System of a Down)
21. Lazy Brain ('Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne)
22. Called My Wife ('All My Life" by the Foo Fighters)
GRACE PERIOD August '02
1. Corinthians ('In the End" by Linkin Park)
2. Cornelius ('Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel)
3. I'm a Receiver ('I'm a Believer" by the Monkees and Smash Mouth)
4. YHWH ('YMCA" by the Village People)
5. Smooth Grandmama ('Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm and Michael Jackson)
6. Devil Went Down to Jordan ('Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels)
7. Drop of Lucifer ('Drops of Jupiter" by Train)
8. Born Above ('Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen)
9. Follow Me ('Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker)
10. Don't Fear the People ('(Don't Fear) the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult)
11. Lemonade ('Renegade" by Styx)
12. How You Rewind Me ('How You Remind Me" by Nickelback)
13. Regeneration ('My Generation" by the Who)
14. Love the Jews ('Love Me Do" by the Beatles)
15. Good Guys Bad Guys ('Good Times Bad Times" by Led Zeppelin)
16. Flurry ('Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd)
17. Tom Saw Ya ('Tom Sawyer" by Rush)
18. Sufferin' Just Finished ('Suffragette City" by David Bowie)
19. Smells Like Thirtysomething Spirit ('Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana)
20. Baa! We're Lambs ('Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys and the Regents)
HAVE YOURSELF A PARODY LITTLE CHRISTMAS December '01
1. Micah No. 5 ('Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega)
2. Late December 5 or 6 B.C. ('December 1963" by the Four Seasons)
3. Santa Claus ('Panama" by Van Halen)
4. Hotel Can't Afford Ya 2002 ('Hotel California" by the Eagles)
5. Manger ("Angel" by Shaggy with Rayvon)
6. Christmasnite ("Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down)
KEEP THE CHANGE October '01
1. Story of a Squirrel ("Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days)
2. Monkey Scheme ('Theme from 'The Monkees'" by the Monkees)
3. Christmasnite ("Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down)
4. Bethlehemian Rhapsody ("Bohemian Rhapsody" )
5. Stay in the Light ("Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees)
6. Old Time Romans Road ("Old Time Rock & Roll" Bob Seger)
7. The Real Sin Savior ("The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem)
8. Babylona ("My Sharona" by the Knack)
9. Daniel ("Daniel" by Elton John)
10. All the Stalls Stink ("All the Small Things" by Blink 182
11. Cheap Birds ("Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
12. Mama Told Me (What's to Come) ("Mama Told Me (Not to Come) by Three Dog Night)
13. Manger ("Angel" by Shaggy with Rayvon)
14. Be Bold Jeremiah ("Jet Airliner" by the Steve Miller Band)
15. Ballad of Jesus and Yahweh ("The Ballad of John and Yoko" by the Beatles)
16. Rock and Roots ("Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin)
17. Simp Liztik ("Nookie" by Limp Bizkit)
18. You Booked Me All Along ("You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC)
19. Life Restored ("Last Resort" by Papa Roach)
SPOOFERNATURAL November '00
1. Play That Funny Music ("Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry)
2. Fishin' On a Pier ("Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi)
3. Pray Now ("All Star" by Smash Mouth)
4. El-ijah ("Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys)
5. Sin Can Be Resistible ("Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer)
6. Trooth ("Smooth" by Santana Featuring Rob Thomas)
7. La Bible ("La Bamba" by Ritchie Valens and Los Lobos)
8. I Want in That Place ("I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys)
9. Crowd of Foreign Girls ("California Girls" by the Beach Boys and David Lee Roth)
10. Choirboy ("Cowboy" by Kid Rock)
11. Every Crown Has Its Thorns ("Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison)
12. Livin' What Jesus Spoke Of ("Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin)
13. I Love Apostle Paul ("I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts)
14. Jonah, Jonah ("Mony, Mony" by Billy Idol and Tommy James & the Shondells)
15. Learn Some Deuteronomy ("Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard)
16. Last Night ("Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam and J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers)
17. Once Livin' Twice Died ("Once Bitten Twice Shy" by Great White)
18. Rock This Tower ("Rock This Town" by the Stray Cats)
19. Genny 22 ("867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone)
BIBLICAL GRAFFITI December '99
1. One Way ("One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies)
2. Twins Came Out ("Twist and Shout" by the Beatles)
3. Every Step to Take ("Every Breath You Take" by the Police)
4. 969 ("Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams)
5. Second Timothy ("Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground)
6. You Ain't Been Nothing Yet ("You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by B.T.O.)
7. Donkey Talked With Him ("Honky Tonk Women" by the Rolling Stones)
8. Ronomy ("Runaway" by Del Shannon)
9. Credence Thru Deepwater Survival ("Proud Mary" by CCR)
10. Lawful Woman in a Bad Place ("Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress" by the Hollies)
11. Kick in the Wall ("Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2" by Pink Floyd)
12. Fast Paul ("The Way" by Fastball)
13. Jail Got Rocked ("Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley)
14. Put You Down in My Will ("Push" by matchbox 20)
15. Crazy Little King God Loves ("Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen)
16. Dancing Dave ("Dancing Days" by Led Zeppelin)
17. Smart Blest Man ("Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top)
18. Revelation Man ("Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers)
19. Armageddon Valley Someday ("Pleasant Valley Sunday" by the Monkees)
20. Droppin' on the Sun ("Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth)
21. Bends to Low Places ("Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)
22. Enter Samson ("Enter Sandman" by Metallica)
JESUS CHRIST MORNINGSTAR Dec. '98
1. Hotel Can't Afford Ya ("Hotel California" by the Eagles)
2. Go Right Now ("All Right Now" by Free)
3. Apostle Me ("Rock n' Me" by Steve Miller Band)
4. Jesus ("Venus" by the Shocking Blue and Bananarama)
5. Temple Physician ("Pinball Wizard" by the Who and Elton John)
6. Love & Kisses ("Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss)
7. Parable Guy ("American Pie" by Don McLean)
8. I'll Prepare For You ("I'll Be There for You" by the Rembrandts)
9. I Have to Die First ("Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor)
10. Didn't Just Die ("Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney)
11. Died and Rose ("China Grove" by the Doobie Brothers)
12. L.S.F. ("Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by the Beatles and Elton John)
13. Spirit Inside ("Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum)
14. Walk His Way ("Walk This Way" by Aerosmith)
15. You May Be Bright ("You May Be Right" by Billy Joel )
16. John 1:1 ("Fun, Fun, Fun" by the Beach Boys)
17. Narrow Way to Heaven ("Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin)
18. Fakey Shaky Parts ("Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus)
TICKED (ROLLING CLONE) Dec. '97
1. Come Out and Pray ("Come Out and Play" by the Offspring)
2. All ApologetiX ("All Apologies" by Nirvana)
3. Naomi Gonna Be With Ruth ("Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie & the Blowfish)
4. Shepherd's Paradise ("Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio)
5. Counting Blessings ("Counting Blue Cars" by Dishwalla)
6. Plump ("Lump" by the Presidents of the USA)
7. Letterman ("Better Man" by Pearl Jam)
8. People ("Pepper" by the Buttonhole Surfers)
9. Big Deal ("Big Me" by Foo Fighters)
10. Little Sins ("Little Things" by Bush)
11. Stupid World ("Stupid Girl" by Garbage)
12.A Lie ("Alive" by Pearl Jam)
13. Preachers ("Peaches" by the Presidents of the USA)
14. Who's There? ("Loser" by Beck)
15. Heaven Isn't Like That ("Shine" by Collective Soul)
16. No Chain ("No Rain" by Blind Melon)
17. Young As You Are ("Come As You Are" by Nirvana)
18. Casket Place ("Basket Case" by Green Day)
19. Lightning Flashes ("Lightning Crashes" by Live)
20. InYerFace Love Song ("Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots)
21. You Gotta Go ("You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette)
RADICAL HISTORY TOUR Aug. '94
1. Bethlehemian Rhapsody ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
2. Isaac Man ("Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen)
3. Jacob's Name is Israel ("Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
4. Judgment Gets Passed ("Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones)
5. (Check Out) the Book ("The Look" by Roxette)
6. Yer Maker ("D'yer Maker" by Led Zeppelin)
7. I Know a Riddle ("I Know a Little" by Lynard Skynard)
8. I've Got Elijah Fightin' Baal (I've Got a Tiger By the Tail" by Buck Owens)
9. Not Logs Lincoln ("Hot Rod Lincoln" by Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen)
10. Read Ephesians ("Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith)
11. Lazzie Lay ("Maggie Mae" by Rod Stewart)
12. Catch That Fever! ("Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent) 13. Triune Godhead ("Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
14. Ignorant Song ("Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin)
15. E.Z.Kiel ("Suzi Q" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
16. Virgin ("Urgent" by Foreigner)
17. The Sounds of Silas ("The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel)
18. Bad Dude Risin' ("Bad Moon Risin'" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
19. Life in the Last Days ("Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles)
20. Midnight Hour, Pt. 2 ("In the Midnight Hour" by Wilson Pickett)
ISN'T WASN'T AIN'T July '93
1. Isn't Wasn't Ain't ('Livin' Lovin' Maid" by Led Zeppelin)
2. David and Goliath ('Paperback Writer" by the Beatles)
3. Lions ('Signs" by Five Man Electrical Band and Tesla)
4. Patients ('Patience" by Guns n' Roses)
5. Help Me, Rhoda ('Help Me, Rhonda" by the Beach Boys)
6. That Daughter ('Black Water" by the Doobie Brothers)
7. Little Esther ('Little Sister" by Elvis Presley)
8. Don't Try ('Don't Cry" by Guns n' Roses)
9. I Found the Answer There ('I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles)
10. Be Like David Was ('Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company)
11. Ain't That a Miracle ('Pink Houses" by John Cougar Mellencamp)
12. Faith Pt. 2 ('Faith" by George Michael)
13. Christians Doin' Music ('Listen to the Music" by the Doobie Brothers)
14.What is and Will Forever Be ('What is What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin)
15. Matthew 9 ('I Feel Fine" by the Beatles)
16. He Really Got Mad ('You Really Got Me" by the Kinks and Van Halen)
17. Love Ain't Nothin' ('Long Train Running" by the Doobie Brothers)
18. Verynice City ('Paradise City" by Guns n' Roses)
7. OUR BEST CD SALE EVER (ALL TITLES $7 THROUGH 3/31)
There's only one week left to take advantage of the greatest deal we have ever offered on CDs -- all 10 of our CDs (the eight you can get in stores and the two you can only get through us) -- for $7 each. These are not cracked CDs. They are perfect condition, still in the shrink wrap.
After this sale is over on March 31, we'll be no longer be offering "Isn't Wasn't Ain't" or "Have Yourself a Parody Little Christmas" -- at least not for a long time. Also, the cracked CD sales are over. So this is it. Two weeks of $7 non-cracked CDs -- all 10 titles. Stock up while you can.
You can pay by any of the following methods: credit card, ATM card, check or money order. We generally process orders within 24 hours and ship first class mail for small U.S. orders and Priority Mail for larger U.S. orders. Orders outside the United States are shipped via Air Mail to expedite the process.
TO ORDER ONLINE
Just click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser: http://www.apologetix.com/surprize
TO ORDER VIA MAIL
Just fill in the form below and mail it to us at:
ApologetiX 3251
Conway Wallrose Rd
Baden PA 15005-2313
Please make checks/money orders payable in U.S. funds to ApologetiX.
Shipping & handling is a flat rate of $5 for your entire order ($10 for orders outside the United States), no matter how many you order.
Simply print out this e-mail and fill out the form below and send it in along with your check/money order to the address at the bottom of the order form.
We must receive your check/money order before we ship. Don't worry about contacting us by e-mail. Just send the form via postal mail and include your name and address.
********
Apologetically,
J.
-- J. Jackson Lead Singer/Lyricist ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band) www.apologetix.com j@apologetix.com
Colossians 2:9-10
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.
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