Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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as of November 30, 2021

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Yesterday's News:

11.29.21New Single: '83 & '84, Complete Library Deal
11.29.21Get Over 1425 Tracks for $100 This Week
11.29.21Get Multiple Downloads for One Donation
11.27.21Christmas Playlist: A Month's Worth of Parodies
11.27.21Bible-Reading Update: Jeremiah 7-48
11.27.21Influential Albums: 561-567
11.27.21Kansas Fan Lists Her ApX Top 10
11.27.21How to Help the Studio Where We Record (It's Free)
11.27.21New USBs Include New CD and Latest Single
11.23.21This Week's News Bulletin
11.20.21This Week's ApX Radio Show: Thanksgiving
11.20.21How to Get the New ApX Digital Interactive Songbook
11.20.21How to Donate Online or by Mail
11.20.21How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
11.20.21Wyoming Fan Lists Her ApX Top 10
11.20.21Prayer Update on Bill Turner
11.19.21Influential Albums: 554-560
11.16.21This Week's News Bulletin
11.13.21Influential Albums: 547-553
11.13.21New CD BOGO Extended by Request
11.13.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 19th Single
11.08.21New Single ('80 & '84)
11.06.21We Changed Two Songs on Our Last Two Singles
11.06.21Serious Prayer Update: Bill Turner
11.05.21Influential Albums: 540-546
11.03.21This Week's News Bulletin
10.30.21Happy Prayer Request Update: Bill Turner
10.30.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 18th Single
10.30.21Influential Albums: 533-539
10.25.21New Single: '86 & '89
10.22.21Four Members Celebrate ApX Anniversaries
10.22.21Sad Prayer Request Update: Angela Walker
10.22.21Influential Albums: 526-532
10.21.21Clues for 2021 Single #18
10.16.21Prayer Request Updates: Angela Walker & Bill Turner
10.15.21Another Rieger Daughter Becomes a Bride
10.15.21Influential Albums: 519-525
10.14.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 17th Single
10.13.21New Single: '85 & '86
10.09.21Updated on Three Prayer Requests from Last Week
10.08.21Influential Albums: 512-518
10.08.21What's on the Never, but Then Again Before CD?
10.04.21This Week's News Bulletin
10.03.21Important Prayer Requests from Three Fans
10.03.21Influential Albums: 505-511
10.02.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 16th Single
09.30.21More Info on the Upcoming ApologetiX CD
09.28.21New Single: 80's Solo Superstars
09.25.21Next CD Coming Next Month
09.25.21Influential Albums: 498-504
09.25.21New USB Flash Drives Include New CD & Single
09.20.21Couple Will Match All Donations Thru Thursday
09.17.21Urgent Prayer Request for Bill Turner
09.17.21From a Native American ApX Fan in Montana
09.17.21Influential Albums: 491-497
09.17.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 15th Single
09.15.21New Single: 80's One-Hit Wonders (Almost)
09.12.21Clues for 2021 Single #15
09.12.21Influential Albums: 484-490
09.07.21This Week's News Bulletin
09.04.21Super Sentiments from 16 States & Saskatchewan
09.04.21Another Praise Report from Darnell Cline
09.04.21No Single This Wkd: Here's Why & What's in the Works
09.04.21Influential Albums: 477-483
08.27.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 14th Single
08.27.21Influential Albums: 470-476
08.24.21New Single: 2 from 1986
08.22.21New CD BOGO Ends Wednesday
08.22.21Big Bunch o' Books: What J.'s Been Reading Lately
08.20.21Influential Albums: 463-469
08.16.21This Week's News Bulletin
08.14.21Influential Albums: 456-462
08.14.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 13th Single
08.10.21New Single: 2 Top 10 Hits from 1985
08.07.21Rich Gets Quick: Fastest ApX Member to 100 Songs
08.07.21Influential Albums: 449-455
08.07.21New CD in Stock: Buy 1, Get 1 of 33 CDs Free
08.02.21This Week's News Bulletin
07.30.21More Prayer Needed for Darnell Cline
07.30.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 12th Single
07.30.21Influential Albums: 442-448
07.27.21New Single: More Mid-80's Music
07.25.21Influential Albums: 435-441
07.25.21What's on the Get Rich Quick CD?
07.22.21This Week's News Bulletin
07.17.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 11th Single
07.16.21Father of the Bride (and Father of the Bride 2)
07.16.21More Info on the Upcoming ApologetiX CD
07.16.21Influential Albums: 428-434
07.12.21New 80's Single: #1 Hit and a One-Hit Wonder
07.10.21Darnell Cline: Encouragement from Other ApX Fans
07.10.21Update on Last Week's Appeal Letter
07.10.21Get Ready for Our 62nd CD
07.10.21Remembering ApX Fan Steve Fagan
07.10.21Influential Albums: 421-427
07.08.21Clues for 2021 Single #11
07.05.21This Week's News Bulletin
07.02.21Darnell Cline: Continued Improvement, Long Way to Go
07.02.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 10th Single
07.01.21Influential Albums: 414-420

X30: The Last "Stanned" (Two New Names for Keith)
Mon., May. 15. 2006 6:30pm EDT

As long-time ApologetiX fans know, our bass player, Keith Haynie, has gone through more identity changes in 10 years than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover-agent life on "Alias" look stable.

Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.

We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once.  This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired 27 new first names.

This weekend, he added two more, bringing his grand total of first names up to 30, counting his given name, even though people rarely seem to call him that! Here's how the latest episodes of nomenclature transpired:

The first new naming occurred before our flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas the morning of May 12: "Coming through TSA," Keith recounts, "the guy was looking right at my boarding pass. My name is right there in black and green. He handed it right to me and said, 'There you go, Ken!'"

Greg Micher, who came along to California as our roadie and sound man, was eyewitness to the second Keith renaming, on May 13 before our concert in La Quinta. "I introduced myself to one of the guys in charge at the church. He said, 'You're Greg with a G.' I said, 'Yes.' He pointed at Keith (whom he'd already met) and said, 'That's Craig with a C.?'"

Although he'd heard the lore before, Greg was delighted to see Keith get "stanned" firsthand. Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)

Remember:  We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name.  The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!