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We Need Help but We Have a New Single & Stories
April 30, 2022, 3:15 pm EDT
ApologetiX Fan Club Newsletter goes out to 61,487 subscribers.

In This Issue:

New Single: '79 & '84 >>

Stories Behind This Single >>

New CD BOGO Deal >>

Bible-Reading Update >>

Rock Thru the Bible, Wk. 2 >>

Nice Notes from Four Fans >>

Influential Albums: 716-722 >>

How to Get MP3s, USBs, and Our Complete Library >>

Tell Us About You.

Help us pick new songs to parody and cities to tour in by telling us about you. At least your zipcode and date of birth. (We won't tell anyone.)

Tell us about you >>

Photos from the Road

We try to take as many pictures of our concerts and fans as possible, and we have a bunch from our concert in Gahanna, OH on Sat., Nov 12.

See the photos from Gahanna, OH and other concerts.

Come to the Show
Nov. 30, 1999 at 12:00 am
info, tix, directions >>

Were You There?

Fans love to look up the photos on our website, and email them around. These are the ten most recent concerts that we have no photos from. Pick any concert you have photos for and please upload them.

1. Pittsburgh, PA  03.28.15
2. Barrington, RI  10.18.14
3. Harleysville, PA  10.17.14
4. Chesaning, MI  07.10.10

Upcoming Fan Birthdays

Happy birthday to all our fans and friends who are celebrating a birthday in the coming week including these 231 fans:

04.30Anthony F. - NY
04.30Lee H. - NE
04.30Philip P. - KY
04.30Joe K. - United Kingdom
04.30Brittany L. - CT
04.30Destinie M. - IA
04.30Kate O. - South Africa
04.30Herakles H. - CO
04.30Traci S. - PA
04.30Tony A. - AZ
04.30Troy F. - MN
04.30Rick G. - PA
04.30Marcos M. - Brazil
04.30Taylor S. - OH
04.30Marcia G. - WA
04.30Mike C. - ME
04.30Tim L. - Ontario
04.30Aaron B. - Ontario
04.30Greg S. - AR
04.30Charlotte J. - PA
04.30Shawn H. - NC
04.30Robert R. - MI
04.30Wade H. - KY
04.30Richard J. - VA
04.30Troy F. - MN
04.30Allen B. - NC
04.30Leslie T. - PA
04.30Linda L. - FL
04.30Robert B. - IN
04.30Robert B. - IN
04.30Sue V. - IN
04.30Victoria K. - VA
04.30Linda A. - MT
04.30Pfcu36 P. - WI
04.30Alexander G. - Germany
04.30Kelli H. - MO
04.31Robert W. - WI
05.01Vickie C. - SC
05.01Sharie L. - TX
05.01Barry P. - Ontario
05.01Chelsea A. - TX
05.01John C. - United Kingdom
05.01Tillie P. - VA
05.01Michael M. - TX
05.01Michael M. - TX
05.01Dylan M. - Canada
05.01Paul G. - NY
05.01Joshua V. - TX
05.01Greg Y. - Australia
05.01Grant P. - AK
05.01Josh V. - TX
05.01Craig J. - VT
05.01George N. - WA
05.01Andy C. - PA
05.01Laura E. - SD
05.01Stephanie B. - MI
05.01Timothy M. - NY
05.01George M. - WA
05.01Ricky C. - WV
05.01Amber H. - TX
05.01John K. - MI
05.01Leslie S. - OH
05.01Clay S. - CT
05.01Bobby B. - AL
05.01Lisa W. - IN
05.01Nikki J. - CA
05.01Michael D. - KY
05.01James W. - MO
05.01Kevin C. - VA
05.01Susan Y. - PA
05.01Alexander J. - United Kingdom
05.01Tom D. - Belgium
05.01Amanda K. - WV
05.01Bill P. - AR
05.01Jason B. - AZ
05.01Paul N. - NJ
05.01David L. - OR
05.01Christie H. - KS
05.01Matthew A. - KY
05.01Jimmy M. - TN
05.02Mike V. - WI
05.02Ronald R. - PA
05.02Angie K. - IL
05.02Phillip S. - WI
05.02Roger W. - AZ
05.02Emily M. - IN
05.02Dr Phil S. - AK
05.02Jim L. - MO
05.02John S. - OH
05.02Stephen W. - MD
05.02Ashleigh C. - MD
05.02Becky A. - MN
05.02Mark B. - MN
05.02Staten M. - MO
05.02Josh L. - SC
05.02Tammy A. - FL
05.02Kaley O. - OH
05.02Ken I. - OR
05.02Matt S. - CA
05.02Alain G. - France
05.02Steve L. - TX
05.02Staten M. - MO
05.02Nathan H. - NY
05.02Buck T. - WI
05.02Timothy Q. - AR
05.02Chris H. - IA
05.02Brianna C. - FL
05.02Cindy J. - IA
05.02Shannon T. - NC
05.03Angie S. - VT
05.03Steffi E. - AZ
05.03Benjamin T. - ND
05.03Rebecca A. - IL
05.03Alan L. - IL
05.03Stephen H. - TX
05.03Kristen B. - ID
05.03Melissa W. - OK
05.03Kirsten T. - OK
05.03Josh W. - Canada
05.03Denver N. - TX
05.03Mixon M. - TN
05.03Aleah C. - CO
05.03Anthony D. - MI
05.03D-d B. - OH
05.03William S. - NE
05.03Brian R. - OH
05.03Guy W. - AZ
05.03Guy W. - AZ
05.03Jessica G. - CA
05.03Kelly S. - WI
05.03Lonnie P. - CA
05.03Robert C. - OH
05.03Steffi E. - AZ
05.03Daniel E. - AZ
05.04Matthew S. - PA
05.04Kevin J. - IN
05.04Marvin A. - Philippines
05.04Theresa H. - TN
05.04Raymond S. - AL
05.04Trevor R. - AL
05.04Lisseth S. - Guatemala
05.04John S. - MA
05.04John L. - WV
05.04Gregory J. - SC
05.04Karen B. - AL
05.04Roger C. - Brazil
05.04Jadie A. - FL
05.04Andrew W. - MI
05.04Isabel E. - NJ
05.04Jay W. - MO
05.04Troy S. - Canada
05.04Robert B. - OH
05.04Tommy F. - MA
05.05Corey P. - TX
05.05Anssi T. - -
05.05Kenneth D. - WV
05.05Thomas C. - AZ
05.05Hannah M. - MA
05.05Sam D. - Canada
05.05Marvin W. - NC
05.05Jeff F. - TX
05.05Tom B. - IN
05.05Aaron B. - MI
05.05Richard N. - CO
05.05Tia V. - IN
05.05Cindy A. - AK
05.05John E N. - NE
05.05Denise B. - NY
05.05Felix R. - Guatemala
05.05John H. - MO
05.05Rebecca S. - PA
05.05Carl B. - MO
05.05Warren N. - KY
05.05Dennis E. - OH
05.05James G. - ND
05.05Chris S. - SC
05.05Norman C. - PA
05.06Travis S. - MN
05.06Jason C. - AL
05.06Kevin C. - IN
05.06Annie P. - OH
05.06Melissa A D. - MO
05.06Charles B. - FL
05.06John H. - United Kingdom
05.06Joy E. - KS
05.06Jen G. - NY
05.06Karin C F. - CA
05.06Julie Y. - PA
05.06Scott T. - MI
05.06Tony B. - SC
05.06Mike S. - MI
05.06Sue E. - MI
05.06Chris E. - IA
05.06Suspender Joe D. - IL
05.06Ryan R. - OK
05.06Kyle N. - WI
05.06Tracy B. - PA
05.06Tracy D. - PA
05.06Nancy G. - Canada
05.06Chuck S. - VA
05.06Jeremy S. - OR
05.06Jamie H. - MO
05.06Elijah C. - AL
05.06Joel A. - OH
05.06Tonia L. - PA
05.06Marquita W. - IN
05.06Sarah P. - WI
05.06Nathan H. - MD
05.06James E. - IA
05.06Ollie F. - PA
05.06Dottie B. - LA
05.06Jonathan S. - TN
Make sure we know about your birthday -- For your name to appear above, your profile has to have your correct first and last name and in the correct fields.Tell us about you >>

Wanna Help the Band?

We're often asked if we accept donations. Yes we do. Like other ministries, we have many expenses. Although the donations aren't tax deductible, they are immediately put to good use. If you'd like to donate, thanks.

J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX here.

Earlier this week, I gave my first-ever Sunday-morning church sermon. I preached about the Apostle commonly called "Doubting Thomas." If you'd like to see/hear it, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k1JtDEIa8I

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me. Giving that message was a pleasure. Giving this message is not:

ApologetiX needs help and prayers again. It's been about three months since our last appeal letter (February 4), but the band has some hefty expenses coming due and is about five months behind paying me again, and my family has some hefty expenses coming due as well.

On the positive side, the first ApX CD of 2022 should be in stock very soon, and we've already recorded half of the songs that will comprise the two CDs after that. And, as you'll see later in this issue, fans continue to write us about the things God is doing in their lives through this ministry.

If you'd like to help us carry on, here are some options:

1. Pray (It truly helps!)
2. Get our singles and/or CDs:
3. Get multiple MP3s for one donation:
4. Get our complete library (1472 tracks) on MP3 for $100:
5. Get our digital interactive songbook for a donation of $50 at:
6. Get our new 16 GB USBs: http://apologetix.com/store/store.php#USB
7. Give online: http://apologetix.com/store/store-donate.php
8. Give by mail: ApologetiX, 208 Charlemma Dr., Pittsburgh PA 15214

Donations aren't tax deductible. As always, please only give if you feel led and are able. We go to God with our needs before we come to you, so we are looking specifically to Him rather than to any specific fans. Thank you.

New Single: '79 & '84
April 26, 2022, 12:16 pm EDT

We just released our sixth single of 2022. It spoofs a song from '79 and a song from '84.

Here's what's on it:

1. Good Works Don't - Good Girls Don't - The Knack
2. 969 - Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams

Yes, "969" is an all-new version of a parody we did in 1999, including some new lyrics.


There are now 188 singles/EPs (382 songs) in our "downloads for a donation" series, including our previous single, "2 Gals Named Val," featuring parodies of Steve Winwood and The Monkees.

To get multiple downloads with one donation, go to http://apologetix.com/news/news-details.php?news_id=3564

The Stories Behind the Songs on Single #7
April 28, 2022, 4:44 pm EDT

J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX here again.

Here are the stories behind the songs on our seventh single of 2022:


I first got the notion to spoof "Good Girls Don't" by The Knack in September 2019 but didn't get the title or subject matter till December 22, 2021. At the time, I was just thinking of "good works don't ... revive you." After I'd been working on it for a while, I realized we could shift later in the song to "good works don't ... but I do" once God is speaking. After all, Jesus said, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working" (John 5:17).

As Ephesians 2:8-10 points out, where salvation is concerned, God does all the work. Our works follow afterward not to obtain, maintain, or retain our salvation but just as a natural thing we were created (and re-created) to do: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

It wasn't until I had this parody completed that I realized that "Good Works Don't" is a joke of its own (i.e. "good works don't work").

This is our second parody of The Knack, and like our previous one, "Babylona," its source material came from their double-platinum debut disc, Get The Knack, which topped the album chart for five weeks in late summer 1979. The album's songs were full of naughty lyrics, none worse than those in "Good Girls Don't." That single did hit #11 on the Billboard Hot 100, but pop stations had a version with cleaned-up lyrics. Now we do, too.

969 (2022)

I always liked the lyrics to our '99 version of "969"; I just thought the vocals, instrumentation, and production left room for improvement. However, once I started practicing my vocal parts, I noticed a number of places where the wording could be better, too.

There were a few lines that sounded clunky to me when I sang them along with "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams. Do I have to say the words? Speaking straight from the heart, I didn't want to run to you with anything less than my personal best. I know some ApX fans are awfully attached to our first-edition parody lyrics. Please forgive me. Just remember: Everything I do ... I do it for you.

You'll notice a few new scriptures mentioned this time around. For example, in the first verse, we specifically cite Genesis 5, the chapter of the Bible where Methuselah and all those other long-lived legends and their ages are actually listed.

I also wanted to direct listeners to the specific places in the New Testament where "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts" is found. We briefly touched upon that in the '99 version when we said, "Hebrews 3 says it's now or never," but I've always found it remarkable that the phrase is quoted three times in Hebrews (3:7-8, 3:15, and 4:7), and I wanted to teach our listeners (and myself) the verse numbers.

There were a couple other places where I realized Bryan sang something different than I originally thought, so I adjusted what I sang. You know how it is: Can't stop this thing we started.

Buy Our Next CD, Get 1 of 36 Free
April 30, 2022, 3:08 pm EDT

Our upcoming 65th CD, Come See, Come Saw, has been at the manufacturer for over two weeks and should be in stock in early May. We'll be begin shipping shortly thereafter. It features 12 parodies from the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's.

The earlier you order, the faster you'll get your CD(s); we'll process them in the order in which they are received. You can order it here:


Order now and get a free Come See, Come Saw CD with every Come See, Come Saw CD you buy. The free CD(s) won't appear in your shopping cart but will be mailed with your order. We'll also email you the link for the download version of Come See, Come Saw now.

If you'd prefer to get a different CD as your free CD, choose from the 35 other titles on the list below and send an email to j@apologetix.com with the subject line "My Free Bonus CD."

Apolog80s: Back from the Future
Never Before, but Then Again
Get Rich Quick
Overdue Books
Decent Alternative
Alien Invasion
Conspiracy No. 56
Sandwich Platter
Double Take
That's Too Bad
I Know You Are but What Am I?
Xit Ego Lopa
From Hair to Eternity
You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's
Play Nice
Easter Standard Time
Unconditional Releases
Loaded 45's
Handheld Messiah
Hot Potato Soup
Wise Up and Rock
Isn't Wasn't Ain't
Classics: Party
Classics: Heavy
Classics: 60's
Classics: 2000's
Classics: Christmas

Only the titles on the list are available.

For every copy of Come See, Come Saw you order, you can select one title from the list above. For example, if you order five copies of Come See, Come Saw, you can select five different titles (or five of the same title) from that list.

Only the titles on the list are available. If we don't hear otherwise from you within two hours of your order, we'll assume you want to your free CD(s) to be Come See, Come Saw.

Bible-Reading Update: Genesis 31-Exodus 21
April 29, 2022, 7:56 pm EDT

We began our latest trip through the Bible on April 20. Here's our Bible-reading plan for the next two weeks for those of you reading along with us:

Sat., Apr. 30 - Genesis 31-33
Sun., May 1 - Genesis 34-36
Mon., May 2 - Genesis 37-39
Tue., May 3 - Genesis 40-42
Wed, May 4 - Genesis 43-45
Thu., May 5 - Genesis 46-48
Fri., May 6 - Genesis 49-50
Sat., May 7 - Exodus 1-3
Sun., May 8 - Exodus 4-6
Mon., May 9 - Exodus 7-9
Tue., May 10 - Exodus 10-12
Wed, May 11 - Exodus 13-15
Thu., May 12 - Exodus 16-18
Fri., May 13 - Exodus 19-21

Note: If you don't have a Bible handy, you can look up these passages for free on http://www.biblegateway.com. They have about 60 different English translations/versions there to choose from, plus translations in many other languages, many of which also have multiple translations/versions.

Rock Thru the Bible with ApologetiX, Wk. 2
April 29, 2022, 4:22 pm EDT

Last week, we introduced a new feature called "Rock Thru the Bible," thanks to longtime ApX fan and friend David Michael.

David is making weekly lists of ApologetiX parodies to go with each day's readings (whenever possible) and weekly playlists of corresponding ApX lyric videos for those parodies on YouTube (the vast majority of which were made by other ApX fans), so you can listen and read along!

You can find the video playlists for this week and next week at:



Here are the songs and where to find them if you're making your own audio playlist:

Wed., Apr. 27 - Genesis 22-24

Genesis 22

"Genny 22" (found on Classics: 80's) parody of "867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone

"Drop Your Knife and Hurry, Man" (found on Play Nice) parody of "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by The Scorpions

Genesis 24

"Are You Gonna Be Ike's Girl" (found Classics: 2000's) parody of "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet

Thu., Apr. 28 - Genesis 25-27

Genesis 25

"Twins Came Out" (found on Classics: Party) parody of "Twist and Shout" by The Beatles

Fri., Apr. 29 - Genesis 28-30

Genesis 29

"That Daughter" (found on Soundproof) parody of "Black Water" by The Doobie Brothers

"Downer of a Sister" (found on Classics: Heavy) parody of "Chop Suey" by System of a Down

"Celebrity Kin" (found on Decent Alternative) parody of "Celebrity Skin" by Hole

Genesis 30

"Here Come the Sons" (found on, the EP, Orchard Avenue) parody of "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

Sat., Apr. 30 - Genesis 31-33

Genesis 33

"Jacob's Name is Israel" (found on Classics: Party) parody of "Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Sun., May 1 - Genesis 34-36

Genesis 34

"Boys Are Scary" (found on From Hair to Eternity) parody of "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday

Genesis 36

"Sweet Oholibamah" (found on Classics 70's, Volume 2) parody of "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Mon., May 2 - Genesis 37-39

Genesis 37

"Makes Me Cranky" (found on Zebraic) parody of "Hanky Panky" by Tommy James and the Shondells

Tue., May 3 - Genesis 40-42

Genesis 41

"The Giver of Dreams" (found on Come See, Come Saw) parody of "The River of Dreams" by Billy Joel

"Bought by the Egyptians" (found on Quilt) parody of "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles

Wed, May 4 - Genesis 43-45

Genesis 45

"Somebody Sold Me" (found Classics: 2000's) parody of "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers

Thu., May 5 - Genesis 46-48

Nothing yet.

Fri., May 6 - Genesis 49-50

Nothing yet.

Sat., May 7 - Exodus 1-3

Exodus 2

"Miriam Girl" (found on Overdue Books) parody of "XXX's and OOO's (An American Girl)" by Trisha Yearwood

Exodus 3

"Head Over Here" (found on I Know You Are but What Am I?) parody of "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears

"YHWH" (found on Classics: Party) parody of "YMCA" by Village People

Sun., May 8 - Exodus 4-6

Exodus 4

"You Ain't Been Nothing Yet" (found on Braggadocious) parody of "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Mon., May 9 - Exodus 7-9

"Plagues" (found on Apolog80s: Back from the Future) parody of "Legs" by ZZ Top

Tue., May 10 - Exodus 10-12

"Pharaoh-noid" (found on Music Is As Music Does) parody of "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

Encouraging Emails from Four Fans
April 30, 2022, 1:01 pm EDT

We are always blessed by the encouraging emails we receive from fans. Here are four recent ones that touched our hearts. We hope they'll touch yours, too.

Chris and I were talking today about the first time we heard of ApologetiX. It was June 2004, and we were in the hospital with our son, who was injured in a terrible motocross accident. Our youth group bought him the Jesus Christ Morning Star CD as a gift. He was in a medically induced coma, so I opened his gift.

Looking at the songs on the back of the CD, I remember think was is going on here? Parodies, what a cool way to spread the Word.

In April 2006, we attended our first concert in Schoolcraft MI. The show was at a small church, so small that when J. was singing, I got a globule of spit on me. You know how that is, right, Keith? I have to say it was from that moment, we went from fans to APXFREX.

We decided it was time to host a concert, and in September 2006, we did just that. What a great day. We were able to hang out with the band most of the day and then listened to you play for about 180 people. Hard to believe that was 16 years ago. There is nothing like ApologetiX live! All total we were able to attend about 30 concerts.

Even though the live concerts are few and far between these days, we are thankful for all the concerts we were able to attend and also that the music has not stopped flowing. Our son Jake made a full recovery from his accident, he and his family currently live in Alaska. Jake owns his own business.

Thank you, LORD, for taking a bad situation and turning it to something great. Thank you for the music our friends from Pittsburgh have blessed us with for the past 18 years. May they continue for many years to come.

Mike Sackett
Bronson MI

Just wanted to tell you about an interesting thing here at work: I was listening to the ApologetiX parody "Get Serene," when a link to a video from the President of the college came in. In it, she was talking about how she took some time off to get away so she could listen to what God wanted for the college this coming year.

She, of course, spoke about how Jesus would do that from time to time. I sent her the lyrics for this song and told her I was listening to it when her message came in. I thought it was pretty interesting as far as the timing. She appreciated the lyrics.

Gary Wandel
Roberts Wesleyan College
Rochester NY

I'm starting a new job next week! Same company, but I've been promoted from GSW (general service worker) to bus mechanic! Basically moving from bus maintenance to diagnosis and repair.

As far as I know, I'm pretty much the only "practicing" Christian in my work area. I have access to the radio two to three days per week and play my "parody mix radio station" for all to hear. Most people don't mind at all. (There is no music on days when I don't provide the tunes). Now for a funny story:

So one day a co-worker of mine tells me she was riding around in the car with her spouse and she was singing along with the radio and her spouse says "What the heck are you singing? Those aren't the right words to this song!" She had been singing the parody lyrics without even realizing it! We all cracked up! The Lord works in mysterious ways!

Jerry Moore
Springfield OR

We have used you music doing puppet shows in our church and for church outreaches for over 20 years in our home state of California as well as in Mexico, Germany, and Austria! Now we are in Oregon and hope to continue! May the LORD bless you guys!

My wife, Alice (a.k.a. Bible Betty), has been the driving force in our puppet ministry since the beginning. Each of our family members — including our son, daughter, and son-in-law — along with many others from several different churches have been involved through out the years.

The LORD has opened doors for us to take His message through the ministry of puppetry to churches, schools, hospitals, senior centers, parks, fairs, rescue missions and both small and large Christian outreach events.

My wife constantly states that it is the puppets that draw the children, but it is the music that draws the adults. They often recognize the music, but the lyrics catch them often off guard. The gospel message is then given by the script and in the words of your music.

Thank you for what you do and may the LORD continue to use your to draw both the young and old to Himself!

Charlie Sparks
Bend OR

Influential Albums: 716-722
April 29, 2022, 6:54 pm EDT

J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX here again.

Here are the latest entries in the "albums that influenced me" series I started writing in May 2020. Rather than listing the albums in order of preference or excellence, I'd been listing them in chronological order of when they influenced me, as best as I recall. We were well into 1987, and you'll start seeing a lot of Christian albums once we get to 1988.

However, in May 2021, I realized that I'd neglected to include many influential albums along the way, so I've been catching up on those for a while before we get to that momentous moment in '88 when my life and musical trajectory was forever changed. You'll still see plenty of secular albums after that, but music was never the same for me after.

716. Barbra Streisand's Greatest Hits Vol. II - Barbra Streisand
Almost nine years elapsed between Barbra Streisand's Greatest Hits (January 1, 1970) and Barbra Streisand's Greatest Hits, Vol. II (November 15, 1978) ... and the years had been kind to her. The first volume only went to #32 on the album chart and sold two million copies. It contained just two Top 40 pop hits, "People" (#5 pop, #1 adult contemporary) and "Second Hand Rose" (#32 pop, #5 AC). The second volume topped the Billboard 200 for three weeks and sold five million copies. It featured three #1 pop hits, "The Way We Were," "Evergreen (Love Theme from "A Star Is Born)," and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," a brand-new duet with Neil Diamond that was released as a single just a couple weeks before this album. Streisand and Diamond had already recorded solo versions of that song on their previous albums. When DJs in Louisville KY, Chicago, and Detroit spliced the versions together, listener response was so great that the two superstar singers eventually agreed to rerecord it together ... a collaboration made easier by the fact that they both were signed to the same record label, Columbia. Amazingly, it only went to #3 on the AC chart, but four other songs on Greatest Hits Vol. II had been #1 AC hits: "The Way We Were," "Evergreen," "My Heart Belongs to Me" (#4 pop), and "Songbird (#25 pop). The album also included "Stoney End," which went to #2 on the AC chart and #6 on the pop chart. Growing up in the Jackson home, I inherited my sisters' 45's of "The Way We Were" and "Stoney End," which I particularly liked. After Greatest Hits Volume 2, Streisand went on to have 17 more Top 10 AC hits. They included two #1 pop hits — a duet with Donna Summer called "No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)" and "Woman in Love" — and four other Top 10 pop hits: "The Main Event/Fight" (#3), "Guilty" (#3), "What Kind of Fool" (#10), and "I Finally Found Someone" (#8). The second and third of those songs were duets with Barry Gibb and the last one was a duet with Bryan Adams. ApologetiX has spoofed Barry and Bryan but not Barbra. Nevertheless, memories of her music light the corners of my mind.

717. 12 Greatest Hits Vol. II - Neil Diamond
Picture this scene: Neil Diamond, just starting out in the business, hands out business cards and says, "My name's Diamond; give me a ring." But I digress ... Released in May 1982, 12 Greatest Hits Vol. II featured Neil Diamond songs from 1973-81. It only went to #48 on the Billboard 200 but sold 3 million copies. The first volume had covered 1968-72 and had gone to #29, selling 4 million copies. Vol. II contained 11 Top 40 hits, including his chart-topping duet with Barbra Streisand, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," plus nine others that hit the Top 20: "Love On the Rocks" (#2), "Longfellow Serenade" (#5), "Hello Again" (#6), "America" (#8), "If You Know What I Mean" (#11), "Yesterday's Songs" (#11), "Desiree" (#16), "September Morn'" (#17), and "Forever in Blue Jeans" (#20). Five of the aforementioned songs also hit #1 on the adult contemporary chart. In fact, 11 out of the 12 songs on this collection hit the AC Top 10, including the non-single, "Beautiful Noise" (#8 AC). The only one that didn't, "Be," came oh so close (#11 AC, #34 pop). Although there would be no 12 Greatest Hits Vol. III, Diamond still had something left in the tank after Vol. II. From 1982-89, he accumulated nine more Top 10 AC hits, four of which hit the pop Top 40, most notably the E.T.-inspired "Heartlight" (#5 pop, #1 AC). I associate the songs on Vol. II with two people, my friend Dave Rhodes' mother, who was a big Neil Diamond fan while those songs were coming out, and my sister Gayle, who liked "September Morn'" and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." My favorites on this album are "Longfellow Serenade," "America," "Desiree," and "Forever in Blue Jeans," which my friends and I thought was "Reverend Blue Jeans" when we first heard it on the radio. Having grown up on Captain Kangaroo, perhaps we thought the reverend was a relative of the captain's right-hand man, Mr. Green Jeans.

718. Heavy Metal: 24 Electrifying Performances - Various Artists
This 1974 double album from Warner Special Products was the second volume in their Superstars of the 70's series. I remember looking it over in the record store on multiple occasions as a young adolescent and absorbing the strange group names and song titles. I think that was the first time I ever heard/saw the term "heavy metal." It's a curious compilation. There are some totally genre-appropriate, hard-driving tracks like "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple, "I'm Eighteen" by Alice Cooper, and "Kick Out the Jams" by the MC5. There are other rock artists featured on this album whom you might expect — like Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The James Gang, and Foghat — but the songs representing them are surprisingly tame for a collection called Heavy Metal. For example, the Led Zep track is the reggae romp "D'yer Maker," which wasn't exactly one that established their hard-rock bona fides (although this was the first place I ever heard of that tune). Most of the other selections on Heavy Metal are great songs but just seem miscast, like "Touch Me" by The Doors, "Domino" by Van Morrison, "Ride Captain Ride" by Blues Image, "Right Place, Wrong Time" by Dr. John, "Ramblin' Man" by The Allman Brothers, "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" by T. Rex, "Only You and I Know" by Delaney & Bonnie, "Lonely Feelin'" by War, "Give It to Me" by The J. Geils Band, "Cindy Incidentally" by The Faces, "Outlaw Man" by The Eagles, "Johnny B. Goode" by The Grateful Dead, and "Starship Trooper" by Yes (the full nine-plus minutes). Then there are a few that straddle the line, like "Stealin'" by Uriah Heep, "Bluebird" by Buffalo Springfield (the rockin' 8:54 version), and "Radar Love" by Golden Earring. Bottom line: I'd give the music an A, but the title a D. It's ironic that Warner Special Products didn't worry about getting "heavy metal" right but they took the care on the album cover to correctly list the band names for Eagles, Faces, and MC5 without the definite article, whereas most people call them "The Eagles," "The Faces," and "The MC5." I use a "the" most of the time myself when referring to those bands, since everybody else does. For a full list of all 24 electrifying performances, go to https://www.discogs.com/release/1624466-Various-Heavy-Metal-24-Electrifying-Performances

719. Schoolboys in Disgrace - The Kinks
Stop me if you've heard this one before: A schoolboy meets up with an oppressive headmaster who humiliates him and his mates, negatively affecting the man he grows up to be. No, it's not Pink Floyd's 1979 concept album, The Wall ... it's The Kinks' 1975 concept album, Schoolboys in Disgrace. Released in November of that year, Schoolboys was The Kinks' final album on RCA Records (where they'd resided since late '71) and the last of their so-called "theatrical period" before the group moved to Arista Records and really started rocking again. By the time I was an upperclassman in college, I already owned a couple Kinks compilations from the 60's and early 70's plus all their albums from 1977-84, so I bought a used copy of Schoolboys. The cover art didn't do much for me, but I figured the record was worth a shot, since it contained the original version of "The Hard Way," which had been one of my favorite songs on their 1980 live album, One for the Road. The lyrics were much easier to understand on this album's version, but it didn't rock nearly as much. My other favorite song on Schoolboys was "Jack the Idiot Dunce." A couple of songs on side two, "I'm in Disgrace" and "No More Looking Back," gave musical hints that The Kinks would soon be returning to rock, and I think they're pretty good, too. As a matter of fact, I have since found out that those two tunes were released as the A-sides of the album's two singles, although neither one charted. Ironically, the B-sides were "The Hard Way" and "Jack the Idiot Dunce." So, even though I wasn't that impressed with the album itself, I think they did a good job picking the singles.

720. Straight Up - Badfinger
Badfinger had more success than any other group on Apple Records not named The Beatles. I was more of a singles guy than an album guy when it came to Badfinger, but my two favorite singles of theirs both came from the Straight Up album: "Day After Day" (#1 Record World, #3 Cash Box, #4 Billboard) and "Baby Blue" (#9 Cash Box, #12 Record World, #14 Billboard). In fact, "Day After Day" is one of my favorite songs, period. I remembered it fondly from my childhood and was delighted to discover the 45 (with the famous Apple label) in a Columbus OH record store in 1984. A couple of my college buddies, Paul Donahue and Tom Dellaquila, introduced me to "Baby Blue" in my early years at IUP. That song reached a whole new level of fame when it was used as the closing music on the final episode of Breaking Bad in 2013. Ironically, although ApologetiX has released two Badfinger parodies, we spoofed the band's other two big hits, which both came earlier: "Come and Get It" (#3 Record World, #6 Cash Box, #7 Billboard) and "No Matter What" (#4 Record World, #6 Cash Box, #8 Billboard). Released in December 1971, Straight Up was Badfinger's third LP. Technically, it was their fourth if you count the 1969 album the group released when they were still called The Iveys). Straight Up went to #31 on the Billboard 200, their second-best showing, after their previous album, No Dice (1970), which went to #28. No Dice contained "No Matter What" and the original version of "Without You," a song Harry Nilsson took to #1 for four weeks in '72 and Mariah Carey would take to #3 in '94. Despite the '72 successes of the singles from Straight Up and Nillson's version of "Without You," Badfinger would never have another Top 40 single on any of the three major charts, and none of their subsequent albums charted higher than #122, as their career went into a shocking downward spiral filled with managerial problems, financial woes, and legal issues. Tragically, those factors later led the two writers of "Without You," Badfinger guitarist/vocalist Pete Ham and Badfinger bassist/vocalist Tom Evans, to take their own lives, in 1975 and 1983, respectively. The story of the band was told in great detail in the 436-page biography Without You: The Tragic Story of Badfinger, published in 1998. Unfortunately, the book is out of print now and almost impossible to find for less than $150 ... although easy to find at much higher prices. Tom Dellaquila is the biggest Badfinger fan I know, and he's read it, but I don't have that kind of cash lying around. I did, however, buy the 2000 compilation CD The Very Best of Badfinger, a bittersweet testimony to what once was and what might have been.

721. Closer to Home - Grand Funk Railroad
I bought a used copy of this album in college because I loved the song "I'm Your Captain (Closer to Home)," an epic tune that clocked in at just over 10 minutes. The five-and-a-half-minute single version, reversely retitled "Closer to Home (I'm Your Captain)" went to #22 on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Grand Funk Railroad's first Top 40 hit. It was actually the second single from Closer to Home. The first, a piledriving number called "Sin's a Good Man's Brother," failed to chart. Interestingly, "Sin's a Good Man's Brother" was the first track on side one and "I'm Your Captain (Closer to Home)" was the last track on side two. A third track, "Mean Mistreater," was later re-recorded live and hit #47. Although Grand Funk Railroad established themselves with a legendary loudness, all eight songs on this record are consistently catchy. Released in June 1970, Closer to Home was the band's third studio LP. All three albums were released within a 10-month span, and GFR's growing momentum was reflected in chart position and sales: On Time (#27, half a million sold), Grand Funk (#11, a million), and Closer to Home (#6, two million). Five months later, they'd release a live album, appropriately titled Live Album (#5, two million). Not bad for a critically despised act with only one Top 40 hit at the time. Nevertheless, they were already selling out big venues — including Shea Stadium, faster than The Beatles — and they'd eventually garner (or Farner) 19 hits on the Hot 100, nine of which reached the Top 40, with four of those hitting the Top Five, including two #1's. Their highest-charting album would be their 1973 LP, We're an American Band, which reached #2 on the Billboard 200, although Closer to Home sold more copies. The band's guitarist-singer, Mark Farner, later released several Christian albums, and a couple of them will appear on this list down the road.

722. Rock and Roll Diary: 1967-80 - Lou Reed
Released in 1980, Rock and Roll Diary: 1967-80 was a career-spanning anthology of Lou Reed's (under)groundbreaking work with The Velvet Underground plus subsequent solo selections up until that point. My high-school friend Michael Ranieri owned it, and I got him to tape me Reed's one Top 40 single, "Walk on the Wild Side" (#16) ... which somehow seemed a lot more wild back in those days. Later, after years of seeing/hearing critics and other rock artists rave about Reed and the Velvets, I sought out more of his (and their) music, including "Perfect Day," "Waiting for the Man," "Rock & Roll" "Sweet Jane," "Heroin," and "Pale Blue Eyes," all of which are featured on Rock and Roll Diary: 1967-80. Surprisingly, his only other charting solo singles, "Sally Can't Dance" (#103) and "Satellite of Love" (#119), were not included on this compilation. Then again, if you're looking for hits, you're probably not going to gravitate toward Lou Reed or The Velvet Underground. Nothing by the Velvets ever charted, although three of their songs were voted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ("Heroin," "Sweet Jane," and "White Light/White Heat") and two made the Rolling Stone 500 ("I'm Waiting for the Man" and "Sweet Jane"). My favorite Reed/VU tunes are "Waiting for the Man" and "Rock & Roll." Rock and Roll Diary: 1967-80 went to #178 on Billboard 200, only spending four weeks on the chart.

Note: Just because the albums on my list influenced me back then doesn't mean I give them all a blanket endorsement now. I started actively listening to music in the early 70's and didn't become a born-again Christian until early '88. However, I hope you'll see (as I do) how God's hand was at work behind the scenes from the start, preparing me for the work I believe He intended for me to do.

How to Get MP3s, USBs, and Our Complete Library
April 30, 2022, 1:22 pm EDT

With so many other stories to share this week, we have consolidated some of our other regular features into this article:


There are now 188 singles/EPs (382 songs) in our "downloads for a donation" series, including our latest single, "Good Works Don't" and "969," featuring parodies of The Knack and Bryan Adams.

To get multiple downloads with one donation go to http://apologetix.com/news/news-details.php?news_id=3564


We're also giving our complete library on download to everyone who donates $100 this week.

That's 1472 tracks, including various versions (studio, live, rarity, album, single, EP, revised, remastered, etc.), plus side projects.

Standard CDs 1993-2021 (819 tracks)
Remastered Classics CDs (219 tracks)
Singles, EPs, Rarities, Side Projects (434 tracks)

Just make your donation at http://www.apologetix.com/store/store-donate.php

After we receive your donation, we'll send you an email with links for all the downloads.


We are about to order a brand new batch of USB flash drives. We've upgraded the storage capacity on them from 8 GB to 16 GB to accommodate our ever-expanding library of music.

They still look exactly the same, and they're not any bigger on the outside; it's what's inside that counts. Like our previous USBs, they're write-enabled, so you can add more music to them if and when you get future ApX downloads.

Emblazoned with the ApologetiX logo, the USBs will include the digital versions of all 65 of our CDs, including, Come See, Come Saw, plus any parodies or rarities we've released that aren't on those CDs, including our latest single, "Good Works Don't" and "Come See, Come Saw."

Although we've doubled the capacity, the deal is the same; they're still available for a donation of $150 or more. If you've donated for our complete library before, they're still available for a donation of $50 or more.


Acts 20:28
"Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood."

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